, the Roman Sewer Award, our highest honor for embarrassing cultural
effluvia. MOVIES
Absolute Power | Blood and Wine
| Grosse Pointe Blank | Jerry
Macguire | Murder at 1600 | The Saint
| The Scarlet Letter | Sling Blade
| Welcome to the Dollhouse | The Rat Pack
Not so Seriousish
Door III | House IV
Jerry Maguire -1996-139min. -Academy Award nom. for Best Picture. Romantic comedy/drama, satire. A fine romantic movie with a blending of the best of that Hollywood can do when it wants to show decent people going through interesting but trying times. The move has comedy, satire, romance, and SPORTS. Tom Cruise (Academy Award nom., Golden Globe Award ), Renee Zelleger, Cuba Gooding, Jr. (Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor), and Bonny Hunt turn in great performances. Renee Zelleger stands up to Tom Cruise's great performance, no mean feat. A nice movie, a fun movie and a good movie. If you like this you'll probably like Cruise's other romantic movies Cocktail (more predictable and mushy) with Elisabeth Shue; Far and Away (very long) with Nicole Kidman. If you like Bonny Hunt as the understanding sister/friend, her role in this movie is somewhat of a reprise of her relationship with Marisa Tomei in the 1994 romantic comedy Only You.
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MOVIES (Made mostly by Hollywood establishment types or brilliant upstarts)
Absolute Power - 1997 - 121min - Mystery/Political Thriller - Clint Eastwood Gene Hackman - Disappointing effort by Clint Eastwood (as Luther Whitney). The plot is forced and contrived. The script is hackneyed. Gene Hackman (as President Alan Richmond) goes through the stereotyped motions as the sleazy President. Padded. We expect much better from two of our favorite actors. Rent The French Connection 1971 (Rated R) or Company Business 1991 (Rated PC-13) or The Package 1989 (Rated R) (all with Hackman) and The Eiger Sanction 1975 (Rated R) or The Dead Pool 1986 (Rated R) (both with Clint Eastwood) to see what these actors can do when their talent is engaged in a thriller. Better yet, see them both in The Unforgiven 1992 (Rated-R), an adult western/drama which won 4 Academy awards including best picture, best director (Clint Eastwood), and best supporting actor (Gene Hackman) - Eastwood was also nominated for best actor. (None of these movies are for the squeamish and they are not recommended for children--lots of violence, sexual matter, etc.)
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Blood and Wine-1996 - 103min. - Film Noir/Murder - Jack Nicholson, Michael Caine, Jennifer Lopez - Jack Nicholson makes a surprisingly good gritty little film noir which manages to surprise us more than do most movies. Features good acting by an ensemble cast. (not for the squeamish, not recommended for children--lots of violence, sexual matter, etc.) Now showing on some premium cable channels, in vid stores.
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Grosse Pointe Blank - 1997 -107 min. - Black Comedy/Action - John Cusack, Minnie Driver, Alan Arkin, Dan Aykroyd. - Martin Q. Blank (John Cusack), a conflicted hit man, goes back to his 10th high school reunion. Mr. Grocer (Dan Aykroyd) wants to make it his last. Good directing and a good script make this vehicle work. Lots of action, lots of fun. Those on the squeamish side or those who can't handle the rather off handed justification for the protagonist's choice of career should pass. R- Violence, strong language, drug references. Not for children.
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Murder at 1600 - 1997 - 107min. - Action/Detective/Political Thriller - Wesley Snipes, Diane Lane - A nicely done thriller. Much better than the other current "the President involved in murder" offering Absolute Power. (See above.) Murder at 1600 is fast paced and well directed. (not for the squeamish, not recommended for children--lots of violence, sexual matter, etc.) Available in video stores
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The Rat Pack Ostensibly about the entertainment "Rat Pack" consisting of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Joey Bishop, Sammy Davis, Jr, and Peter Lawford, but in actuality about a much more dangerous "Rat Pack" consisting of Joe Kennedy, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, Peter Lawford, Frank Sinatra, and the MOB. A tawdry little made for HBO immorality tale in which it turns out that John Fitzgerald Kennedy stole the 1960 West Virginia primary and the 1960 election by having Peter Lawford and Frank Sinatra employ the mob to muscle the unions in West Virginia and then vote thousands of dead Catholics in Chicago to throw the election to Kennedy. Memorable line "There was a Catholic resurrection in Chicago yesterday." Sinatra is portrayed as providing Judith Campbell as a willing sex partner for both JFK and the mob boss, Lawford is sent from the White House to give messages from JFK to Marilyn Monroe, just your average portrayal of democracy in action. The most damning thing about the portrayal of Kennedy and Sinatra is their absolute self centeredness and cynicism. The point of the movie could be interpreted to be: President Kennedy was such a sleaze ball/thief/womanizer that you can understand how President Bill Clinton can claim Kennedy as a hero. Thus, the plot line skirts (pun intended), variously; the actionable, the pitiful, and the unpalatable. The whole thing makes you want to wash Sinatra's and Kennedy's mouth out with soap, tan their behinds, and stand them in the corner while you go out to see a movie about a politician with some character, perhaps Huey Long. For all this, Joe Mantegna's stunning portrayal of Dean Martin makes this movie worth seeing.
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The Saint Val Kilmer and Elisabeth Shue. - 116min -Thriller/Detective/Romance/Turkey - Val Kilmer, Elisabeth Shue - If you've never heard of Leslie Charteris and have never seen the TV show The Saint and you love both Val Kilmer and Elisabeth Shue, this is still an excruciatingly bad movie. Spare yourself the pain of seeing the director make Elisabeth Shue make a fool out of herself as a scientist giving the worst description of cold fusion ever dreamt of in the mind of man, woman, or child. Spare yourself seeing Val Kilmer descend into the throes of a bathos drenched ennui that can only be explained as a reflection of his remorse for having been roped into this turkey. Elisabeth Shue reacts to her purgatory of a role by assuming a frenetic inappropriate chirpiness alternating with a schizoid somberness, probably brought on by her sense of the futility of attempting to rise above the wrongness of it all. The only redeeming facet of this movie is that it shows what lousy conception, script, and direction can do to otherwise good actors, despite a big budget and high production values.. If you must see this movie first go get one of the Leslie Charteris The Saint books listed at The Saint home page http://www.saint.org/stlib.htm, read the book, and you'll be able to complete your loathing for this movie in the secure knowledge that the author of the original books is in no way to blame Do yourself a favor and instead of seeing this turkey rent Elisabeth Shue's great family picture Adventures in Baby Sitting (1987) (adults like it too). Or, send the kids to bed and watch Elisabeth Shue in the dark tragicomic drama Leaving Las Vegas (1995). And, then, if you're up for a little action and a lot of violence, keep the kids in bed and watch Val Kilmer in True Romance (1993), you'll be a lot happier for it. Do you get the feeling we don't like The Saint, hmmm.
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The Scarlet Letter -1995 - 135min. Farce
(unintended) - Demi Moore, Gary Oldman, Robert Duvall - What happens when people who don't
cotton to guilt, sin, repressed emotions, and serious hell fire and brimstone religion
because they are, after all, such judgmental concepts, make a movie about guilt, sin,
repressed emotions, and religion. Apparently this movie is the answer and it doesn't make
a pretty picture (actually Demi Moore as Hester Prynne is quite pretty, but that's beside
the point.) In fact this whole move is way beside any point Nathaniel Hawthorne, the
author of the book on which this farce is based, ever made. This maybe, no, it definitely
is the worst adaptation Hollywood has ever made of a major literary work, and that is high
praise indeed. Buy the book, read it, see the movie. Suggestion, rent the movie and watch
with your finger on the fast forward button. We know of no one who has been able to watch
more than ten minutes of this movie at a time, straight through. We suspect that
unrelieved exposure to the entire 116 minutes might be permanently damaging to some
portion of one's cognitive faculties. If you are a historian you may die laughing, if you
are an English literature or theology student you may die of apoplexy. If you like good
movies, you may just die. Consider yourself warned. This movie has been retroactively and
posthumously awarded the 1995, the Roman Sewer Award, our highest honor for embarrassing cultural
effluvia.
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Sling Blade - 1996 - 134min. - Drama/Tragedy - Billy Bob Thornton (stars, directed, and adapted the screen play), Dwight Yoakam, Lucas Black, John Ritter, and Natalie Canerday.- A tragedy in which every major character has been seriously emotionally damaged and should probably go to somewhere for some deep therapy. Only one of then does.
With all these flawed people, why does this movie work so well and why is it so powerful? Good acting, especially by Billy Bob Thornton and Dwight Yoakam, helps. A good script helps. But, the clincher is that in Sling Blade each character's flaws intertwine to lead inexorably to the final tragedy. The individual characters each have sympathetic characteristics but, their flaws, when they are intertwined with those of the other participants in the drama, coalesce into horror. It took MacBeth, Lady MacBeth, and the whole crew, it took Nixon, Halderman, and the whole crew, and it takes the entire Sling Blade ensemble to make this tragedy click. Great flick!!!
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Welcome To The Dollhouse - 1997 - 88min -- TragiComic - Dawn Wiener- A WONDERFUL evocation of the painfulness of being adolescent. It is sooo painful to watch these kids, and so real. Great performances by Dawn Wiener and all the children. and no preachiness. A delight. (not really for children - this is a movie meant for grownups. R rated for language) Available in video stores
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NOT SO SERIOUSISH MOVIES (Made mostly for love or money, sometimes eliciting neither from audiences) Some of these films are genre classics. Many of these films are rescued from mediocrity by a sincerely warped combination of bad script, bad directing, bad acting, bad cinematography, bad production values, and ludicrous musical score that manages to coalesce into something that is fascinatingly both greater and less than the sum of its parts. Each has, inexplicably, at least one GREAT scene, that would have "serious" producers jumping for joy if they had it in one of their films.
Door III One of the more bizarre side effects of the end of the cold war. This horror (we believe it to be a classic) film is one of the best fascinatingly BAD films we have seen . Mostly filmed on location in Romania, this film seems to shoot its entire budget in one special effect, early-on. The remaining effects mostly consist of Romanian peasants clicking rocks together and the innovative use of toy trains. The plot is so bizarre incompetent that you would not believe it if we told you. If you rent this gem, approach it with the proper attitude, stunned disbelief, and don't miss the wonderful "Gratuitous Demonic Exploding Wagnerian Radio" which is, alone, worth the price of admission.
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House IV This movie is almost too classy to be in this section. However, you'll be playing the "Battle of the Demonic Pizza" scene for your friends for years to come. Don't miss this treasure. (Note: The "House" series have nothing to do with each other. The original House is a pretty straight B horror movie, House II is actually worth checking out as an alternate universe-in-the-wallboards science fiction/fantasy-comedic-horror spoof of all those genres, featuring a swashbuckling nerdy electrician cum adventurer, worth seeing for him alone. There is no House III in the series, something about a European film name conflict.)
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BEST AND WORST OF SELECTED STARS
ROBERT MITCHUM -- Best: Cape Fear (1955); Night of the Hunter (1961), Farewell My Lovely (1975) Robert Mitchum Turkey: The Big Sleep (1978)
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